Pillars of Support
Essential Pillars to Support Your Neurodivergent Children and Teens
Even though these Pillars of Support seem simple, they are often overlooked and is counted as foundational to optimal health. Often as parents, we are just trying to survive the day, avoiding meltdowns, trauma, or overwhelm. Learning to making a few adjustments throughout the day can bring greater peace and stability to your child’s life, and yours. Look through these Pillars of Support and see where you can make adjustments to help every one’s day run smoother. Don’t be overwhelmed by the list, find a Pillar that speaks to you and make changes slowly over overtime. It’s the little adjustments, here and there, that develop healthy habits over time. Enjoy the journey!!
My Favorite Pillar
Family Time- my favorite... and is essential for building supportive relationships between parents and children. Family time helps to develop communication skills and fosters emotional connections in the family unit. Family time helps children learn shared family values and builds self-esteem in the family unit which carries over to societal relationships. Shared experiences create lasting memories, provides stability, and encourages teamwork. Overall, prioritizing family time contributes to a happier, healthier family dynamic, and supports resilience when facing challenges. Here are a few ideas to help your family connect and build memories.
Ideas for Family Time:
- Read stories or books together
- Family game night
- Family cooking night-learning a new dish
- Family movie night
- Go for a walk
- Embark on a nature adventure
- Family sport activities
- Spontaneous road trip
Kickstart Hormone Regulation
Sunlight- regulates our circadian rhythms, the source that regulates hormones, neurotransmitters, awake & sleep cycles, digestion, mood, and much more by turning signals on and off during the 24-hr. day/night cycle. Spending a few minutes outside at sunrise & sunset regulates the body’s natural rhythms, the cellular activity that takes place behind the seen. Taking small light breaks throughout the day helps to promote abundant melatonin and vitamin D levels which contribute to overall health. Sunlight stimulates the feel-good chemicals as we move throughout our day.
Hydrate
Water– plays a key role in brain function. When the body is dehydrated neuro messaging slows down and the ability to focus attention & recall information dwindles considerably. Water is a catalyst for cell formation and regulation in all body systems. Water is also critical for myelination, a major step in building and strengthen neuro-networks.
There are different thoughts on how much water a person needs each day. Here is a basic guide to build upon.
Children
4–8 years old: Around 5 cups per day.
9–13 years old:
- Girls: Around 7 cups per day.
- Boys: Around 8 cups per day.
Teens
14–18 years old:
- Girls: Around 8 cups per day.
- Boys: Around 11 cups per day.
Fule
Nutrition- nurturing the gut-brain axis, a two-way system operating between the central nervous system and the gastrointestinal track. It matters what your neurodivergent children and teen eats. Multiple studies show correlation between intestinal health and neurodevelopmental disorders. Individuals with Autism, ADHD and/or Sensory processing tend to have gut health issues. Choose less processed foods and eat lots of veggies and fruits (organic if possible). Experiment with gluten and dairy free options, if your child functions better without it, keep it out of the diet.
Rest and Renewal
Sleep- is critical for children and teens because it plays a vital role in their physical, emotional, and cognitive development. During these formative years, sleep impacts growth & tissue repair, memory consolidation, neurodevelopment, emotional & behavioral regulation, stress management, focus & attention, decision-making, and strengthens the immune system just to name a few. Research shows establishing a healthy routine before bed is a wise idea. Turning down overhead lights a few hours before bed and turning off electronic devices allows our brain to regulate itself, following the sensory cues it is being sent. The brain and body recognize it is time to slow down and prepare for sleep.
- Children (6-12 yrs.): Need between 9 -12 hours of sleep per night.
- Teens (13-18 yrs.): Need between 8 - 10 hours of sleep per night.
Rest
Brain Breaks- are essential and intentional short activities designed to give children and teens a quick mental and physical reset, helping them to recharge, refocus, and improve concentration. Research suggests taking a Brain Break every 60 to 90 minutes. This is especially useful during the school day, study sessions, and anytime there is stress or dysregulation.
Examples: 5-10 min. sunshine break, stretching or quick exercise burst, juggling, dance party, deep breathing, or a quick walk just to name a few. Brain breaks allow for a momentary break in activity to regroup and return with increased creativity to the task at hand.
Develop Thinking Skills
Limiting Screen Time is important for physical, mental, and emotional health. Excessive screens can lead to problems with:
- poor sleep habits
- decreased physical activity
- negative impacts on mood & behavior,
- limits creative play
- socializing
- problem-solving
- dehydrating to the body
Instead- Encourage Brain Engaging Activities which stimulate cognitive development, critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving skills. These activities are fun, challenging, and promote learning beyond the traditional academic subjects.
Examples: puzzles and logic games, reading and storytelling, coding and programming, creative arts and crafts, music and musical instruments, science experiments and projects, strategy games and board games, memory and brain teasers, outdoor exploration and nature walks, cooking and baking, projects, and DIY projects.
Movement
Exercise- is critical for children and teens because it supports physical growth, neurodevelopment, cardiovascular health, prevents obesity, improves coordination and balance, reduces stress & anxiety, boost self-esteem, improves cognitive function, and promotes better sleep. It also teaches discipline, taking responsibility for oneself, and sets the stage for lifelong fitness and mental health habits. Children and teens need regular physical activity to support their growth, development, and overall health. The guidelines recommend:
For Children (Ages 6-17):
At least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity most days.
This should include a mix of:
- Aerobic activity: Activities like martial arts, swimming, or cycling.
- Muscle-strengthening activities: Such as climbing, gymnastics, or playing on playground equipment, at least 3 times a week.
For Younger Children (Ages 3-5):
- Encourage a variety of active play throughout the day, which should include:
- Structured activities and unstructured free play.
Active play should be spread throughout the day.
Which Pillar is speaking to you?
These Pillars of Support are here to nurture your child’s needs during their critical formative years. I encourage you to choose 1 Pillar, something you recognize as a need in your family and begin to foster the necessary changes for growth and harmony inside your beautiful family unit. You got this!!
Mary Martin is a Cognitive Developmental Therapist, a Licensed Davis Autism Approach® and Davis Concepts For Life® Facilitator, helping neurodivergent children, teens, and their families live a life of purpose by developing their executive function and social-emotional skill sets.